Welcome to Lugu Lake, where women are in charge

Have you ever dreamed of a society where women would be in charge? In Lugu Lake, it’s a reality.

Have you ever dreamed of a society where women would be in charge? In Lugu Lake, it’s a reality.

The banks of this freshwater lake, located on the borderline between Yunnan and Sichuan provinces, are indeed home to the Mosuo people, an ancient minority that keeps the matriarchal way of living.

In Mosuo culture, women are at the centre of the social system. Mothers and maternal uncles raise the children in a “grand household” where several generations live together, men stay with their mothers, and the grandmother is typically the head of the family.

A place of strong women

The Mosuo social system lies on the belief that women are fundamentally more capable than men, both mentally and physically, according to University of Florida anthropology professor Chuan-Kang Shih. As a matter of fact, Mosuo matriarchs remain very active well into their 80s and work in the fields to feed their families.

Preference for boys over girls is a sadly famous fact that led to a surplus of men in China’s population. But in Lugu Lake, the Mosuo people firmly believe that “everything vital in the world originates from a woman,” as reports Jason Motlagh in Marie Claire. Hence the nickname of the region: “the Kingdom of Daughters.”

Free love for all

Mosuo women can also enjoy a great sexual freedom. After their coming-of-age ceremony, around 13 years old, girls start sleeping in their own room at the back of the house. And later, after they reach puberty, they can court and receive lovers as they please. Relationships may last a lifetime, a decade or just a night, says Damien McElroy in The Telegraph.

Not only are women free to ‘date’ as many lovers as they please, they’re also the ones who initiate the relationships. According to Damien McElroy from The Telegraph, in the olden times women used to express their romantic interest in a partner by tickling his palm—although Anthony Kuhn reports on NPR that this charming tradition could just be a tale for tourists.

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Nowadays, women use torches or, in a more modern fashion, flashlights to designate the partner of their choice. Once they have shone the light of love, the lucky chosen one just has to wait until the night has fallen to slip into his ladylove’s room. Isn’t that very Romeo-and-Juliet romantic?

This tradition of men ‘sneaking’ into women’s bedrooms at night and then returning to their own homes in the morning (even in the frequent case of lifelong relationships) is known as ‘walking marriages.’ According to the Lugu Lake Mosuo Cultural Development Association, it’s probably the most famous but also “the most misunderstood aspect” of Mosuo culture.

Daddy duties in a matrilineal society

What about fatherhood? Since a Mosuo ‘couple’ will never share the same household, men generally don’t raise their own children. However, men will have many ‘daddy duties’ in their own households, towards the offspring of their sisters, aunts and nieces. So kids grow up with a flock of caring uncles!

Mosuo women control finances, own the land and houses, pass their names on to their children, are at the head of households and often work outside in the fields. Mosuo men, other than sharing household and child upbringing responsibilities, also spend their days working outside, fishing or animal rearing.

Mosuo men and even boys need no convincing in taking their share of responsibilities in the household, reports Hannah Booth in The Guardian. According to one of her interviewees, “Mosuo men are feminists by any standards” and for maternal uncles (whether old or young), it’s perfectly normal to look after toddlers, give baths and change nappies.

Between tradition and modernity

Modern changes and temptations will of course affect the way young Mosuo girls want to carve their future. According to Chinese Singaporean lawyer Choo Waihong, “the Mosuo youth are more inclined to adopt what for them is “the new and modern way to legally marry” and form a nuclear family structure in a separate home.” But observers remain optimistic: once they see the alternatives, girls will soon realize how blissful traditional Mosuo society is.

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